Demystifying play therapy: answering frequently asked questions to understand the role of play in the therapy room
You have a young child who is struggling with their emotions or behaviors. After searching the internet, talking to other parents, and speaking with your pediatrician, you keep hearing the same recommendation: Play Therapy can help your child work through their big feelings.
Children and play often go hand in hand, but how can we use play to help kids navigate their internal world? And what does it look like in the therapy room?
If you are new to play therapy, these answers to Frequently Asked Questions may help you better understand how it works and whether play therapy may be a good fit for your child.
Frequently asked questions about play therapy
What is play therapy?
Play therapy is a therapeutic approach to working with children as young as three years old through adolescence, depending on their developmental needs. Rather than treating children as “little adults” through talk-based therapy, play therapy recognizes that children often communicate in ways other than words, particularly as their language is developing and they are not yet able to express their complex emotions verbally. Therapists utilize play as a pathway to understand a child’s emotional world and help them communicate their experiences and feelings in a way that may feel less intimidating and easier to digest.
Does that mean you are “just playing with my kid?”
Absolutely not. Play within a therapeutic space is conducted using evidence-based play practices to achieve specific therapeutic goals set with the client and caregivers. After a session, your child might share about an imaginary world or scene they acted out, talk about playing a game like Uno or Connect Four, or simply say “we just played.” What they might not share, or know how to share, is that their trained play therapist used these games and worlds to set goals, explore emotions, and challenge your child using their preferred games and activities. The function of the play is to allow youth to express emotions they might not have words for yet and, through this process, learn more adaptive ways to manage their emotions. A play therapist will implement targeted interventions within play to build emotional awareness, increase distress tolerance, improve problem solving/coping skills, and create a space for children to learn how to work towards verbalizing their feelings more directly. This therapeutic approach provides a level of perspective and guidance that is vastly different from the play your child might experience playing with a babysitter or extended relative.
Is there evidence that play therapy is an effective treatment?
Yes! Play therapy is an evidence-based modality for children experiencing a wide range of presenting issues, including behavioral difficulties, anxiety, depression, emotion dysregulation, neurodiverse challenges, grief or loss, situational stressors, and trauma. Empirical studies have found that children who engage in play therapy often demonstrate improved impulse control, better communication of thoughts and feelings, increased resilience, and greater confidence (Research on the Efficacy of Play Therapy With Children).
The idea of play therapy feels right to me, but I’m having trouble understanding how it plays out in real time. Could you provide an example?
Picture a 5 year old child, Johnny. Johnny has been struggling switching homes after his parents divorce. While his parents have done an incredible job trying to talk through the changes, he simply isn’t old enough to fully have the words to express how he feels, and started to have spells of acting out and tantrums each time he switches from his dad’s home to mom’s home. His parents brought him to play therapy to help him process this experience.
On his first day in play therapy, Johnny walks over to the wooden doll house and sets up a family scene using a mixture of human and animal figures. Characters move quickly to and from the dollhouse and those figures who remain in the house express feeling worried and upset about being left. The young characters express fears that the family members who have left the home will never come back and be lost forever. The play therapist guides Johnny to instruct them on how to best act out the scenes of coming and going as the adult characters, allowing Johnny to give dialogue for the therapist to repeat as he processes through his emotions within the safety of the play. Over time, the therapist is able to provide guidance on the perspectives of each of the characters and help the child understand how each individual may feel as a way of helping them understand what is taking place in their real life, but in a more attainable way through using the characters in the play based “scene.”
As a caregiver, how should I expect to be involved?
Caregivers play an essential role in the success of play therapy. While individual sessions with the child lead the way, the play therapist will also consistently meet with parents for regular consultations to discuss progress, offer parenting strategies, and help caregivers better understand how to use the increased understanding of the child’s internal world in day-to-day interactions. These consultations allow caregivers to reinforce therapeutic goals at home and strengthen the parent-child relationship.
How will I know if play therapy is working?
It is often a misconception that play therapy doesn’t have a treatment plan when in fact, evidenced-based play therapy should always have a strong treatment plan that is regularly communicated to parents. Progress during play therapy will be tracked in relation to your child’s treatment goals. Progress is not linear for every child and can depend on their individual stories, life stressors, and support systems. Common signs of progress include a child increasing communication about thoughts and feelings, showing more emotional control, demonstrating an increase in cognitive flexibility, reduction in harmful behavior or acting out, and improvement in their confidence and self concept. Many caregivers also report an increased confidence in their parenting approach because they have a deeper understanding of their child’s needs and an increased ability to meet those needs more regularly.
Are there different types of play therapy?
Play therapy has many different forms. In some models, the child takes a more directive lead, working through their feelings and gaining a sense of agency and control by directing the therapist in the play, and the therapist’s interventions focus on strategically intervening in moments where the child can work on treatment goal. In more directive models, the therapist is actively shifting the client’s play to help them learn new approaches to problems. Some specific examples include Sand Tray Therapy, where clients build worlds from miniature figurines that are representative of their feelings, people, and real life objects to help model and work through stories and ideas that fill their inner world. In Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), children and parents learn to play together, and we teach parents in real time how to respond just like a therapist would to help them translate these skills to the home setting. The modality you use is best chosen in consultation with a licensed therapist so you can work towards choosing the best fit for you and your family.
Preparing your child for the first session:
Caregivers often ask how to prepare their child to meet with a play therapist. Children are typically accustomed to visiting professionals like doctors or specialists, so a simple, reassuring explanation is usually best. You might tell them that they are going to meet with a person whose job is to help kids with their feelings. You can also explain that the therapist has a special room where children can play, talk, and express themselves about anything they would like in whatever way feels comfortable. It's equally important to reassure your child that therapy is not a punishment or consequence for their behavior and that there is nothing "wrong" with them.
Children don't always have the words to tell us what's on their minds, but they often show us through play. Play therapy offers a safe, supportive space where children can work through life's challenges, develop healthy coping skills, and build emotional resilience. If you've been wondering whether play therapy could benefit your child, speaking with a qualified play therapist can help you determine the best path forward. Early support, like play therapy and other early intervention services, can make a huge difference in a child's social-emotional growth and long-term trajectory.
Kirimi Fuller, Psy.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in trauma, psychological assessment, and play therapy. She provides outpatient therapy services to adults, adolescents, and children, as well as comprehensive psychological/autism testing and clinical supervision at the Expand Psychology Old Town Alexandria office.
This content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health treatment. If you are in crisis call 911 or contact your local crisis hotline immediately.