Helping children navigate changes – big and small
Change is an inevitable and difficult part of life. For children who don’t understand change, or don’t have control over changes they are experiencing, it can be especially challenging and result in feelings of confusion and powerlessness.
From daily transitions to major family shifts, it is important to recognize that children are encountering change constantly. Just think of some big changes kids experience: new scheduled activities, new siblings, family illness, moving, and new schools.
As an adult, change can feel uneasy, but to a child, constant changes can be particularly jarring. Research has proven that children thrive from consistency and depend on it to navigate daily life. So, if you or your children are experiencing a change or transition that may impact their day-to-day life, it can be useful to think of how you can provide support and consistency as a caregiver to help them navigate the shift.
When children are facing change, even if they seem to adapt easily, we encourage providing them with additional time, reassurance, and support. Understanding how children experience change can help parents and caregivers guide them through the process with confidence and compassion. So let’s dive in.
Why change can be difficult for children
Kids often thrive on predictability. Knowing what comes next or what to expect provides comfort, safety, and security in kids' everyday lives. When routines shift, children may struggle to understand what’s happening or how to express their emotions. They need some time to process the changes and new information, but may not know how to do that. Developmentally, children are still developing the language and skills needed to recognize and communicate feelings like nervousness, frustration, or excitement. Without support, these feelings can show up through behavior rather than words.
While change is challenging, it does not need to be avoided. In fact, teaching children about how to handle change is an important part of children’s growth and development. As children adapt to new situations, they build patience, gain self-confidence, and learn to welcome new people and ideas.
Every child responds to change differently
A child’s reaction to change depends on various factors
Temperament: Are they naturally cautious or adventurous?
Developmental level: Do they have the skills to understand the change and what is happening?
Context: Is the change sudden? Stressful? Exciting?
There is no right or wrong way for children to respond to change. What matters the most is that they feel supported and informed in learning about change and how to cope with it.
How children might react to change
Children may express their feelings about change in several ways
Asking lots of questions: Children often have many questions about change and may ask the same questions multiple times. This repetition is normal and helps them to understand and process new information. When answering their questions, keep your answers simple, positive, and age-appropriate.
Regression: Some children may temporarily revert to earlier behaviors. For example, they may start sucking their thumb after not doing so for a while. They may become clingy when they weren’t before. Or they may experience new sleep disruptions and seek comfort during the night. This is a common response to stress and usually resolves with time and extra support from parents or caregivers.
Grief: Change, even happy or positive change, may create a sense of loss for the child as they may grieve what’s familiar. Parents and caregivers should acknowledge and validate their emotions while gently reminding them of the good things that change can and will bring.
How caregivers can help children navigate change
Parents and caregivers play a central role in helping children understand and manage change.
Talk about upcoming change early and often
Help children understand what will be different, and also address what will stay the same.
Ask if they understand how things will be different
Explore their feelings: Help them identify feelings such as anger, sadness, anger, excitement, or anxiety
Talk with them about their feelings and management strategies
Share your confidence in their resilience
Children feel, respond, and mimic your energy.
Stay positive
Reassure them that the change is safe and manageable
Highlight new opportunities, positive benefits, and the internal resources they have to overcome adversity
Use stories
Books and stories help children explore how others navigate change and the feelings that come with it.
After reading a book, ask: How were the characters feeling? How would you feel in a similar situation? What would your advice be for the character?
Make comparisons between the story and your child’s experiences
Tell them a story of a similar change that you personally experienced and how you handled it
Draw pictures together and create your own story about the upcoming change in their own life
Create a countdown
A visual calendar can help prepare the child and make the change feel more real.
Mark the day of change using a special sticker or drawing
Let your child cross off each day to build understanding and anticipation
Offer a comfort item
Comfort items help children maintain a sense of calm connection during uncertain moments.
Anything special for them to look at or hold onto when they are feeling anxious about the change (a blanket, note, or picture)
Keep routines consistent
Finding ways to keep consistency amidst change helps children understand that there is stability.
Try to maintain predictable routines around meals, bedtime, and daily activities
Helps children’s world feel safe and familiar
For some, change may never be easy, and that’s okay! Meeting children with intentional support and understanding can help them learn to navigate change with strength and resilience, even when it is hard. When parents and caregivers are present, encouraging, and empathetic, children can thrive with change.
If you or your child needs support while navigating change, Expand Psychology is here to help. Reach out to our office for a free 15-minute phone consultation with an experienced therapist to learn more about how therapy can benefit you and your family during times of change.
