Domestic Violence Awareness: The power of a safety plan
Domestic Violence awareness is needed year round
October is designated as Domestic Violence Awareness Month to raise awareness about the realities of domestic abuse and its impact on individuals and families. But raising awareness is not only about understanding the issue, it is about helping impacted survivors take meaningful action and connect with resources in a way that supports them, which must be done year round.
A note for those advocating for survivors: One of the most critical pieces of advocating for a survivor is empowering them to seek safety and healing on their own terms. Oftentimes, survivors are not ready to leave an abusive relationship right away. Leaving an abusive relationship is often complex and can involve significant challenges and risks, and advocates and supporters need to respect their autonomy to decide when and how to move forward. When someone reaches out for help, they have taken an incredibly difficult first step. If you or someone you love isn’t ready to reach out for support, that’s okay too. There are resources listed at the bottom of this post for when you are ready to find care. You deserve help and support on your terms.
Regardless of how you reach out for support, you or your loved one can still take meaningful steps to protect yourself and prepare for the future by creating a personalized safety plan. A safety plan is a list of practical steps you can take to ensure the safety of you and your loved ones before, during, and after leaving an abusive situation. In this post, we’ll walk through the basic components to consider when you begin safety planning. Whether you are ready to seek outside support or taking your first quiet steps toward safety, these steps and supportive communities exist to guide you on your path towards healing.
What is a safety plan?
A safety plan is a personalized, step-by-step guide that helps you think through how to stay safe in moments of crisis or transition. It’s not just about leaving; it’s about being prepared, staying connected to support, and knowing your options. Every plan is unique because every person’s situation is different.
Not sure where to start? Use the list below to start thinking about how to build your safety plan. Looking for help creating a safety plan that is tailored to your specific situation? Scroll to the bottom of this post to read about resources that can help you whether you’re still in the relationship, planning to leave, or have already left.
Components to consider for your own safety plan
1. Create safety in your physical surroundings:
If tensions escalate inside your home is there a place that you can go to find safety? Inside your home it might be a closet or bathroom with a locked door. Or if you can get out of the home, it could be a trusted friend’s home, a family member’s house, or a domestic violence shelter.
Plan and practice escape routes from your home, workplace, or other regularly visited locations. Think of multiple options for different scenarios.
Pack a “go bag” with essentials (identification, medications, cash, important documents, and a change of clothes) and store it somewhere safe or with a trusted person.
Keep a phone accessible at all times and know how to call emergency services quickly. Teach children how to call emergency services too! In the US you can call 911, or call/text national and local domestic violence hotlines (See a list of hotline options in the Resources section at the bottom of this article).
2. Prioritize digital safety in a digital world:
Technology can be used to track or monitor individuals, making digital security a vital part of safety planning.
Regularly update passwords used to access your devices, email, banking, and social media accounts.
Turn off location-sharing features and check devices for spyware or tracking apps.
Use secure devices when communicating with support services to ensure confidentiality of your safety planning.
Memorize important phone numbers including support hotline numbers (See a list of hotline options in the Resources Section at the bottom of this article).
3. Financial safety:
Consider where to safely and securely store your money and important documents that only you or safe contacts can access. Consider a trusted friend, family member, or a safe deposit box for storage.
Talk to your workplace about paycheck options, like requesting part of your paycheck to be directly deposited into a secure account that only you or safe contacts can access. You can also ask about options for confidential mail delivery or electronic pay stubs to reduce the risk of financial tracking.
Inquire about social services options from local domestic violence agencies that can help with emergency financial support, or from larger government assistance services.
Consider getting legal guidance early, even if you are not ready to take steps forward to understand your rights and protect both your finances and your ability to make independent decisions safely.
4. Taking care of your family members:
Include any additional members of your household in your safety planning, including children, pets, or other family members.
With kids, discuss and practice safety in an age-appropriate way focusing on specific actions they can take to stay safe. Include them appropriately in each plan you make for your physical surroundings including safe spaces in the home where they can go during an incident. Teach your children not to intervene, prioritize safety, and model coping strategies like deep breathing and calming routines to manage fear and anxiety.
You can include pets in your safety planning by adding items for them in your go bag, and identifying safe temporary housing for your pet including pet-friendly shelters that have programs set up for temporary support.
With all members of the household, you can establish a code word or signal that lets kids or other family members know when to seek safety or call for help.
5. Emotional and social safety:
Identify trusted friends, family, or professionals who can provide emotional support. Even if you don’t reach out right away, having a list of how you would contact safe connections if the time comes up can make it easier if you need it later.
Plan healthy coping strategies for how to stay grounded and safe during and after stressful situations, including how you will use your planned safety steps when the need arises.
Stay connected with people outside of your homes in small ways that are safe, even if it is just waving at a neighbor or saying hi to the receptionist at your workplace. Staying connected to others helps us consider who might be a safe support option if we ever need to reach out.
Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, confidential help is available 24/7 using the National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text “START” to 88788
Or visit thehotline.org
If you live in Northern Virginia, you can reach reach out to Expand Psychology and we will be happy to connect you to non-emergency resources inside and outside our practice. We have also listed other local resources, below:
The Women’s Center Counselors: (703) 281-4928
Fairfax Domestic Violence Action Center 24-Hour Hotline: (703) 360-7273
Alexandria Domestic Violence Program: (703) 746-4911
Arlington 24-Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Hotline (Doorways): (703) 237-0881
Loudoun County 24-Hour Domestic & Sexual Assault Hotline: (703) 777-6552
Ashley French, MSW, is a mental health therapist who works with adults, adolescents, couples, and families, especially in times of major life changes.