The nervous system knows: What genuine self-care looks like
Discover paths towards rejuvenation beyond surface-level self-care
The term self-care is everywhere, often used to rebrand popular activities as ways to take care of ourselves, such as taking a long bath, binge-watching a show, or buying an expensive candle or tchotchke. While there is nothing inherently wrong with these activities (who doesn’t love a good tchotchke?!), on their own, they may fall short of the meaningful rejuvenation and healing that therapeutic self-care is intended to provide.
What defines rejuvenating self-care?
Rejuvenating self-care plays a crucial role in regulating and restoring the nervous system to help our bodies recover from a state of stress and facilitate emotional regulation. Over time, consistently engaging in restorative self-care can build emotional resilience, improve our stress response, and stabilize our parasympathetic nervous system.
This raises an issue with relying on activities like those mentioned earlier as our primary form of self-care. While they can be enjoyable and comforting in the moment, if they shift towards being used to distract or numb, they may also fall short of offering the restoration that more holistic self-care is able to provide.
So how do we know what to choose? We would encourage thinking of it this way: True self-care isn’t about what you do, it’s about how you feel. At its core, rejuvenating self-care is about restoring balance to your nervous system. It helps your body recover from stress, supports emotional regulation, and strengthens resilience over time. This kind of self-care does not just feel good in the moment; it refills your physical and emotional energy tanks to help you feel more grounded, more whole, and able to show up more fully in your life.
5 Rejuvenating self-care practices that actually help
Here are some self-care practices to consider that, when used intentionally and mindfully, can truly restore your energy and emotional balance:
1. Radically accepting rest
Sleep is the most underrated form of self-care. In addition to aiming for a restful and full night of sleep, rest means finding time to relax without guilt. Try a Sunday with no plans. Unplug from the constant stimulation of screens. Allow yourself to embrace boredom and let your mind wander. Real rest recalibrates your entire nervous system and restores mental clarity and emotional balance.
2. Meaningfully move
Instead of only thinking about movement in terms of whether you will or won’t force yourself to exercise, find small ways to move your body throughout the day that feel meaningful and rewarding to you. This may be dancing while you cook, stretching in bed, or shaking out different parts of your body to release tension. Meaningful movement connects your brain back to your body and focuses on energizing your physical self and releasing pleasurable neurotransmitters along with it that counteract stress hormones.
3. Explore creativity
Engaging in creativity is a great way to find a safe and meaningful time to connect with yourself and your emotions. Try journaling, gardening, cooking, coloring, or painting. Don’t consider yourself a “creative” person? That’s okay! Connect with creativity through the output of others by listening to your favorite types of music, or admiring landscaping or house decorations as you travel through neighborhoods in your day-to-day routine. Creativity allows you to find small moments of authenticity and joy beyond the demands of daily life, helping you to connect with yourself and the world around you.
4. Intentionally connect
Not all social interactions are created equal! Even in a busy social schedule, make sure that you are prioritizing the relationships that replenish instead of drain you. Spend time with the people in your life who listen without judgment, laugh with you, and with whom you find a sense of connection and support. Intentional connection nourishes our sense of belonging and human need for emotional safety.
Bonus Tip: Intentional connection also includes spending quality time with yourself. This is our most important connection, so create conscious time for solitude to center yourself, evaluate your goals, and work to align your values and actions.
5. Hold boundaries
Sometimes the most powerful act of self-care is saying no. When you feel like the world expects a lot of you, embrace opportunities to say no to burdensome requests and allow yourself to prioritize your mental health needs. Protecting your time and energy helps prevent burnout and ensures that you’re not constantly pouring from an empty cup.
Ashley French, MSW, is a mental health therapist who works with adults, adolescents, couples, and families, especially in times of major life changes.
